In this guide, we’ll explain what does side mean in gay slang? simple, easy-to-understand words. In LGBTQ+ conversations, a “side” usually refers to someone who enjoys intimacy but typically does not participate in anal sex. Understanding this term helps you follow discussions, dating conversations, or online chats more clearly and respectfully.
The first time I saw someone describe themselves as “side” in a gay context, I was a bit confused. At first, I thought it was just casual wording, but then I realized it’s a term with a specific meaning in LGBTQ+ communities. Understanding these terms is important for respecting identities and communicating clearly. If you’ve been wondering what it means when someone says they’re a “side,” or how it differs from other labels, this guide will clarify everything.
Quick Answer: In gay slang, a “side” is a person who doesn’t usually engage in penetrative sex. It’s about sexual preference and role, not about romantic attraction.
What Does Side Mean in Gay Slang?
In LGBTQ+ terminology:
- A “top” prefers to be the penetrative partner.
- A “bottom” prefers to receive.
- A “side” generally avoids penetrative sex and may focus on other sexual activities or intimacy.
Being a “side” is a valid sexual identity, just like top or bottom. It’s about personal preference and comfort, not judgment.
Simple Example:
“I’m usually side, so I’m not really into topping or bottoming.”
In short:
Side = avoids penetrative sex = focuses on other sexual activities.
Where Is Side Commonly Used?
You’ll see this term mostly in:
- Dating apps & profiles — Grindr, Scruff, Tinder 🏳️🌈
- LGBTQ+ forums & communities 🌐
- Casual conversations among friends 💬
- Sexual health discussions 🏥
Tone:
Casual, identity-focused, informative — not formal, but widely understood in LGBTQ+ spaces.
Examples
A: so what’s your preference?
B: i’m side, just FYI 😅
A: looking for hookups or just chatting?
B: i’m side, mostly chatting 💬
A: do you bottom or top?
B: neither really, i’m side
A: you’re not into penetration?
B: nah, side vibes only 😎
A: how do you define your sexual role?
B: i’m side, open to other fun stuff though
When to Use and When Not to Use
✅ When to Use
- When describing sexual role preference
- In LGBTQ+ dating or hookup apps
- During open, consensual conversations about sex
- When sharing personal sexual identity
❌ When Not to Use
- As an insult or judgmental term
- In formal or professional settings
- Without consent or when someone may not understand LGBTQ+ terminology
Comparison Table
| Context | Example Phrase | Why It Works (or Doesn’t) |
| Dating App | “I’m side 🌈” | Clear, identity-focused |
| Friend Chat | “Same, I’m side too” | Casual, relatable |
| Professional | “He’s side” | Not appropriate in formal conversation |
| Educational | “Side refers to avoiding penetrative sex” | Informative, clear |
Similar Terms or Alternatives
| Term | Meaning | When to Use |
| Top | Prefers penetrative sex | Dating or sexual preference |
| Bottom | Prefers receiving | Dating or sexual preference |
| Versatile/Vers | Open to topping or bottoming | Dating profile or discussion |
| Switch | Changes role depending on partner | LGBTQ+ community conversations |
| Solo | Prefers no partner activity | Personal identity discussion |
FAQs
1. Can a side have romantic relationships?
Yes, being a side only refers to sexual preference, not romantic attraction.
2. Is being side common?
It’s less common than top or bottom but completely valid.
3. Can someone switch from side to top/bottom?
Yes, preferences can change depending on comfort and partner.
4. Does side mean asexual?
No, sides can be sexual, just avoiding penetration.
5. Is side only used in gay men’s communities?
Mostly, but it can be used more broadly in LGBTQ+ spaces.
6. Can sides engage in oral sex or other activities?
Yes, side often enjoys other sexual acts besides penetration.
7. Is it rude to ask if someone is a side?
It can be personal; only ask in a respectful and consensual context.
8. Can sides have safe sex discussions?
Absolutely, safe sex applies to all sexual orientations and roles.
9. Does side affect dating preferences?
Yes, it may influence compatibility with partners.
10. Is “side” a permanent label?
Not necessarily; sexual roles can be fluid over time.
Conclusion:
Now you know what does side mean in gay slang? It refers to someone who enjoys intimacy but usually does not engage in anal sex. Knowing this term helps you understand conversations, dating discussions, and online chats more clearly. Being familiar with such slang makes communication respectful and helps you navigate LGBTQ+ topics with confidence.
Understanding terms like this also helps avoid misunderstandings in conversations.
The more you learn LGBTQ+ slang, the easier it becomes to communicate respectfully and naturally.
